Sunday, August 29, 2004
Adlerian Wisdom
Recently I was reading a journal from the North American Society of Adlerian Psychology and realized that it was time to share some of the thoughts and ideas with you.... Here are a couple of ideas to help you as a manager or leader when you need to influence others behaviour.
1- Take time for training
Make sure the other person understands what "cooperate/work together as a team" (or any other intangible concept) means TO YOU. To them it may mean simply not bringing conflicts to the surface or interacting only on their best behaviour. Consider asking "What is your understanding of what is expected?"
2- Teach and model mutual respect
One way is to be kind and firm at the same time - kind to show respect for them and firm to show respect for yourself. This is especially difficult during conflict but is the only way to develop a mutually respectful and subsequently trusting environment.
3- Be encouraging
Everyone needs a champion but a leader must find a way to balance this unquestioning support with the need to also be a disciplinarian. Here are some words and phrases to try:
To focus on contributions and assets
To build confidence
To show your acceptance
To recognize effort and improvement
1- Take time for training
Make sure the other person understands what "cooperate/work together as a team" (or any other intangible concept) means TO YOU. To them it may mean simply not bringing conflicts to the surface or interacting only on their best behaviour. Consider asking "What is your understanding of what is expected?"
2- Teach and model mutual respect
One way is to be kind and firm at the same time - kind to show respect for them and firm to show respect for yourself. This is especially difficult during conflict but is the only way to develop a mutually respectful and subsequently trusting environment.
3- Be encouraging
Everyone needs a champion but a leader must find a way to balance this unquestioning support with the need to also be a disciplinarian. Here are some words and phrases to try:
To focus on contributions and assets
- Thanks, that helped a lot.
- It was thoughtful of you to...
- Thanks, I really appreciate....
- I need your help with....
- You have skill in....
- I really enjoyed today. Thanks.
To build confidence
- Knowing you, I am sure you will do fine.
- You'll make it.
- I have confidence in you.
- That's a tough one but I am sure you will work it out.
To show your acceptance
- I like the way you handled that.
- I like the way you tackle a problem.
- I am glad you enjoy....
- Since you are not satisfied, what do you think that you can do so you will be pleased about it?
- How do you feel about it?
To recognize effort and improvement
- I appreciate your effort.
- It looks like you worked really hard on that.
- Look at the progress you made... (be specific)
- Look how far you have come.
- It looks as if you worked really hard on that. (be specific)
